There are times I wonder why I am such a bloody ‘fraidy cat. Many who look at me seem to believe that I have no fear, that I am brave and courageous and yet, there are times when I find myself trembling in my boots!!
In our pursuit of 50 new adventures, today we went ice-skating and I spent the first 10 minutes with jaw clenched, eyes tense, hands clawed in front of me, barely able to breathe. And I’m not even sure what I was so damned afraid of. Okay, so I could get hurt but what are the chances of me losing life or limb? I could look a fool but I do that regularly and in front of the only people whose opinions I value. So what is it about me that embraces fear? And is it something I need/want to fix?
As I began to feel more confident on the ice, I found myself smiling, enjoying the movement, imagining how I would love to be the Nana who takes the (unborn) grandkids ice-skating!! I remembered how much fun I had the few times I was on the ice in Dolphin’s Barn when I was a young teen. I began to understand that my fear is a habit and one I think I would rather quit.
In the last few months I have done several things that would suggest I am not afraid, that I am in fact brave and courageous and perhaps I can use these memories, these experiences to bolster me when I begin to feel the panic rise and my teeth tighten.
I know the creed is “One day at a time” and I know it works. For me, in the journey to losing my fear habit, perhaps I can change it to “One experience at a time” and hope to feel the difference. I will let you know after I try the next thrilling thing.
Do you have a fear habit? Does it help or hinder you? Please share your experiences.