According to the art critic Robert Hughes: “The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize.”
If this is true then inside me, deep, deep, deep inside me, must be lurking a great artist because I am consumed by doubt. I doubt that I have the talent needed to write and publish. I doubt that I can develop the skills to take great photographs and make beautiful works of art to hang on the wall. I doubt, I fear, I doubt, I fear, it’s what I have become good at. And I hate it.
So the challenge becomes: how do I move past this fear, this doubt, this paralysis?
The answer is simple, just not easy!! Take baby steps, measure progress in inches (words not novels!!)
I had no desire for a career; I wanted to be a mother above all else. We were broke when we got married and trying to be sensible, figured we would wait 2-3 years and build a financial foundation before having children. Well, that sensible thought lasted two months and we welcomed our baby boy 4 days after our first anniversary! Almost twenty-six years later, I am still learning how to be the kind of mother I long to be.
The reason I share my story is to remind myself and you, dear reader, that not all decisions can (or should) be sensible; it is often best to allow your heart’s deepest desires to dictate your actions. And secondly, that life is a process. Our four children are now adults and I am still honing my skills… one day at a time, baby steps, most of them in a forward motion.
What story do you have in your life to prove your brilliance, tenacity, bravery, strength?
I am not sure how long it will take me to inch forward, to submit my writing and photos, to feel comfortable calling myself an artist but I do know it won’t happen if I do the sensible thing of studying every book ever written about writing and art or try to clear the “important” stuff from my to-do list. It’s time to dive deep into my heart, close my eyes and leap into the unknown; trusting the outcome will be perfect.
After all, I now have 4 phenomenal human beings in my life all because we threw caution to the wind and took the leap that fateful August day.
Hope all your adventures are filled with love, abundance and joy.