It’s been 13 years since Mum died and not a day goes by when she doesn’t make an appearance in my thoughts. It can be as fleeting as hearing the word Iowa (funny story!!), as deeply moving as finding her handwriting in a recipe book (she had beautiful penmanship) or as disturbing (for my beloved) as hearing one of her many expressions escape my lips.
We were barely on speaking terms when she died but I can honestly say, I never didn’t love her.
We had a complicated relationship and while I am well aware of her many failings, I consider myself blessed to also have been the focus of her love and attention. I learned so much from her – much of which I have spent decades trying to unlearn. But today I want to remember her great qualities, the traits I admired in her and continue to see in myself, my sister and also in the next generation.
- Mum had a fabulous laugh – loud, unapologetic, full-bodied – and she laughed often.
- Mum was remarkably frugal and spent as little as she could get away with but she also knew how to enjoy her money, which is why we enjoyed two holidays to America and I went on a school exchange to Paris.
- Mum was fearless. She left her fiancé and her home at twenty-five to explore the world and visited many countries, including Singapore and Russia and she lived in England and in Australia twice.
- Mum was a great sister, aunt and friend, and stayed in touch with those she cared about all around the world until she died.
- Mum never held me (or my sisters) back from living the life we wanted; she encouraged us to follow our hearts.
I am grateful to my mother for the many many lessons she gave me, even the ones that caused pain over the years. Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good and, most of the time, the good has outweighed the bad which is not too shabby really.
In honor of her anniversary, my sister will raise a Gin & Tonic in Australia, I have prepared a delicious Indian feast that will be washed down with beer and those who read this will (hopefully) have a kind thought for a remarkable woman.
- Kate Rogers
- Mother, Nana, Sister, Aunt, Friend
- October 18th, 1928-February 17th, 2003