Today’s topic is relationships and, as often happens, it is very apropos. Tom and I are in the throes of yet another renovation; this time we are helping friends do a new kitchen and wood floors. These experiences are always a wonderful time for us to hone our communication skills and every time we learn more; more ways to be clear, more ways to keep love in the conversation and more ways to listen properly. I think we still have a plenty to learn so there may well be more renovations in our future (this is #6!).
The biggest learning curve for me has been watching how I relate to others involved in the project. I love being pushed outside my comfort zone, I love being challenged to walk my talk and I love the opportunity for personal growth. I am being confronted by my shortcomings (always a very difficult and painful experience) and I am able to use this to look deep inside, discover a few more demons and release a few more veils. I do so wish that learning opportunities were not always quite so challenging!!
Every relationship begins with the Self and how I/we show up in every moment; am I truly “making manifest the glory of God” in my communication? Do I ask myself is it kind, is it necessary, is it true before speaking? What am I seeing in the other person that I dislike in myself?
Whenever we have to view ourselves clearly in a mirror, we are offered abundance in untold ways; the Divine is truly gifted in the blessings bestowed.
If you want to enjoy stronger relationships, begin with the person you see in the mirror; you might discover who you are and in that journey, you are guaranteed to discover more loving, nurturing and abundant relationships.
Is money a cause of concern, stress, anxiety in your life? Does money impact your relationships, your health? Would you like a new approach to your money and finances?
Be warned…The next question I have for you is where I often lose people; it is uncomfortable and confrontational. What are you willing to do in order to bring your financial house in order?
I often hear people say they would like to get healthy, be in a relationship, have more money, find a better job and when we talk a little more, it turns out that the steps needed to achieve a particular goal are more challenging than planned and so, nothing ever changes.
Like many aspects of life, the steps needed to more financial abundance are simple; the more you choose to do, the greater money benefits you will experience. Here are several we use; I hope they can be of benefit to you:
- Carry your need-to-purchase list with you at all times (on your phone works well). When you commit to buy only what you absolutely need, it is easier to say no to distractions.
- Find 10-15 inexpensive, healthy meals you love and repeat them. (When you used the same ingredients you are able to get better value by buying in bulk.)
- Shop for clothes and household items at the second-hand shops. (You will be amazed what you can find; we recently bought a $200 man’s winter jacket for $30!)
- Do you really need the phone plan / TV options / insurance / gym membership you have? Shop around for better deals.
- Have get-togethers at home. Guests can bring a dish to pass and an ingredient for the cocktails; a fabulous way to “go out” for less.
- Pay off your bills. This is a huge issue for so many people and it can suck all the joy and peace from life. We used a non-profit* to help us eradicate all our consumer debt; it took 3 years and a very frugal existence but it was so very worth it.
- Find (or create) a co-op/barter community where you can share tools (and other high-ticket items), skills, babysitting. This was a wonderful part of military base living; it really enhances your community.
If you have any other great ideas, please share them; we are building an abundance community and need your support.
* Consumer Credit Counseling – http://credit.org/
I love working in the health and wellness business; I am truly passionate about learning all I can and supporting others to live the healthiest, most abundant lives they can. I love that great health is so very simple – eat this, avoid that, do this, don’t do that… most people seem to know the dos and don’ts of health and yet, how many of us feel truly healthy?
It is quite a conundrum and one I struggle with often. Most people I work with are smart, ready to make a change and usually, quite driven to achieve whatever goal they have set. So why is the journey to health fraught with stress, anger and fear? And what can I do to support a fellow traveler?
Is there a magic formula to help others achieve their health goals? (Only half-kidding!!) I would love input and experiences if you are so inclined
March’s healthy eating tip – only eat food that does not come with a nutrition label, or has only 1-2 ingredients in the pack (e.g. peanut butter, roasted red peppers, dried beans, etc…) Examples of food that do not have nutrition labels – fresh meat and fish, fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts, eggs.
More health tips next month.
I remember hearing a parable many years ago about a man who searched for gold on his property. By the time he died he had dug more than one hundred holes in his land and still had found nothing. The land was sold and the new owner chose a spot and dug down. The man never wavered; he continued to dig the same hole for years and eventually he did in fact find gold – liquid gold in this case.
The lesson offered is to choose a path to the divine and burrow deeply into all it has to offer. Every faith and every path can lead you to discover your true divine nature. Every path is right and no path is (inherently) wrong. I grew up Catholic and loved it; I went to church often and not just on Sundays!! I loved the rituals, the music, the peace. As I grew older I felt called to look around for a “hole to dig” that better suited my nature. I visited and studied several options and none spoke to my heart. I did not begin yoga to find a spiritual path (I began yoga to help my back pain) and I found a home for my soul, and have since been burrowing as deeply as I can in order to uncover all the bounty my path offers.
If you have found your path, please share how you use it to deepen your connection to spirit, the divine and yourself. Stay true to your path and let nothing come between you and the truth of that path, understanding that it is simply one path to God.
If you are wandering lost or confused, my heart goes out to you. Little is harder than the disconnect and loneliness that comes from seeking and not finding. But, and this is a big but… fear not; if you are indeed open to Truth you will find the path that best suits your nature. In the meantime explore with open heart and open mind, always listening for the Divine rather than the human elements of all you discover.
My prayer for you is that you find peace and the causes of peace, happiness and the causes of happiness on the path that speaks most intimately to your heart and soul.
I could find plenty of quotes about the hazards of being idle but none about the benefits. Maybe I did not search properly (not a strong skill of mine!) and maybe I am mistaken in my opinion (happens often apparently) but I believe there is much to be gained by being idle.
To me being idle means resting, stepping away from the normal routine of life, allowing the mind and body to let go. Being idle is an essential part of my wellness plan and I hope you will consider adding more of it to your life after reading this post.
The most popular way to be idle seems to be to go on vacation – get away from it all – then you have no choice but to step back from your everyday life. Though, more and more I see people with computers when on vacation which seems to defeat the purpose…leave the ties behind when you travel for fun. I love vacations and strongly recommend them to everyone but it is not always available or feasible. Here are just a few suggestions to be idle:
- Be a tourist in your own town; visit a museum or park you have not explored before. Splurge on the audio tour; you’ll be amazed how that can transform the experience.
- Find a beautiful nature trail and walk it, not for exercise but for respite. Enjoy it in complete silence and notice nature’s abundance along the way.
- Do something locally you have never done – visit a winery, paddle board, trapeze lessons. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and the familiar.
- Sit in silence near a body of water, and simply observe.
- Curl up on a comfy chair, with a fire if you like, and read a book for hours and hours.
- Many repetitive actions can be idleness in motion – walking, running, swimming (as long as it serves no other primary purpose)
Some of the emotions that come up when we are idle are worth observing – guilt, shame, fear, anger, sorrow. As I have mentioned before, when you shine a light on something it has no choice but to change and if you are feeling any of these “negative” emotions while at rest then those emotions exist in your life all the times and the peace of idleness simply allows them to surface.
We all deserve time of rest, time to simply be; without it we crumble and stumble our way through life. I find idleness to be the time when I experience the most growth; I discover more about who I am in an hour of walking than in a year of reading self-help books.
And through this self-discovery I am better able to embrace my strengths, soften my judgments and step into the abundance of my life.
I just spent a weekend in Dallas with my sister and we had a wonderful time together. I last saw her 6 months ago when she came to the US for our daughter’s wedding. Twice in 6 months is an extraordinary event in our family – last time we saw each other that often I was 9, she was 16…and that was quite some time ago.
It is confusing to people when we share that we are sisters; I have an Irish accent with a strong hint of American, she has a pure Aussie accent, even using “how you goin’ mate?”!! To us the story of our lives is simple or perhaps it simply is. I used to wish for a different story; I wanted desperately to fit into some perceived societal norm, to have the textbook family and textbook life (by textbook, I probably mean “Little House on the Prairie”).
The story of our lives has challenged our relationship with each other and with all the members of our family and the story of our lives has forced us to fight harder for the love we have. When you live 10,000 miles apart, when you have siblings you have not met, when your parents are not part of your life, when you are all too human (busy, distracted etc…), you have to really, really want someone in your life to keep them there and I am grateful to have a sister whom I can love and be loved by in return.
Abundance comes in many shapes and forms and, whether you come from a textbook family or from an outlandish-tale family, having the love of family is one of those gifts that adds sunshine and hope, laughter and comfort to life and that, dear reader translates as abundance, no matter where in the world you (and your family) call home.
We are all in relationships – with ourselves; a romantic partner; our parents, children, siblings; colleagues, neighbors and those people we run into in our daily lives. How we navigate and nurture these relationships impacts all aspects of our lives. There are plenty of great articles and books about how to improve the big relationships in life but this month I wanted to talk about how we relate to the “insignificant people” in our lives.
How many people do we touch each week as we go about our lives? Store cashiers, phone representatives, bank clerks, customers, homeless people, drivers all meander in and out of our field regularly. There is an expression – how you do one thing is how you do every thing. And this applies to all these seemingly inconsequential relationships also.
In one of our business trainings we were told to pay attention to a name; we all have one and we all feel attached to our name. When I use the cashier’s name it shows I see him, I validate his work and his presence and that is a powerful gift to give. When I remember the name of the service agent on the other end of the phone it proves she is not anonymous, that I appreciate her time. I have been quite surprised by the response this action elicits – people smile, look pleased, the voice changes to lighter, friendlier.
It sounds like such a simple step, it sounds almost irrelevant but you might give it a try – see what happens when you call another by their name, when you start to truly see and acknowledge the people around you.