Dia duit agus fáilte – that’s Irish for hello and welcome – to this holistic RA and autoimmune disease blog; let’s talk about depression and rheumatoid arthritis.
Much of this post was originally written in 2016 and it still has relevance to the struggle we face when we combine depression and rheumatoid arthritis or any other chronic or painful disease. Facing and accepting a diagnosis that changes your life can be devastating and it should come as no surprise that there is a strong correlation between depression and autoimmune disease. Read my post The Emotional Impact of RA.
It took me many years to be honest about my depression; I believed it was something to be ashamed of. Isn’t that the way we thought of mental health even just 10/15 years ago? I have since come to understand that depression and rheumatoid arthritis have something else in common – they are not self-induced and neither is cause for shame. Frustration? Perhaps. Shame? Never.
Below I have woven together the post from 2016 with thoughts from today. My 2016 words are in italics.
Table of Contents
My depression story
This is hard to write and even harder to post. (If you have or think you might have depression please talk to your doctor.)
In 2020, many health insurance companies in the US do not require prior authorization to see a mental health provider making the decision to ask for help at least a little less complicated.
2015 was a challenging year; pain and depression left me exhausted, defeated and honestly, feeling completely useless. I know, I know, (at least in my head on clear days I know) I am not useless but the truth of feelings is not always comfortable to speak or to hear.
Depression sucks! I really fucking hate it and I’ve had enough; I am seriously fed up. Perhaps you can relate?
This past fall was the worst I have experienced and it has left me shell-shocked and, quite frankly, scared and worried.
In truth, I was suicidal and it terrified and fascinated me. At the time, I silently raged that I wasn’t brave enough to do it, that people like Robin Williams were brave. I longed for courage and could not find it. The gratitude for my lack of courage in this instance sweeps over me from time to time, leaving me breathless.
It took 8+ months of intensive supplement therapy to heal my depression and now, I understand that courage and bravery are measured by showing up. I understand that it takes courage and bravery to ask for help. Now, I understand how the pain of depression and rheumatoid arthritis can push a person to the edge and that it takes courage and bravery to remain strong, clinging to hope for just one more day.
I am luckier than many. I have spent so many years in introspection and self-exploration that I hear depression’s heavy breath behind me as it chases me into a corner and overwhelms me. I can’t stop it but I am aware of it and that has helped. I am learning to ask for support and make changes that will hopefully provide lasting relief.
How I describe depression
Here is an analogy; I hope it helps someone better understand their own, or a loved one’s, depression.
Imagine life as a journey spent on a paddleboard, the water below is cold, dark and uninviting. Most people travel through life on top of their board getting splashed once in a while, perhaps an occasional fall off the board into the darkness before quickly clambering back onto the board, drying off and moving forward once again.
Living with depression is like living in the inhospitable water and hanging onto the board for dear life. I’m cold, lonely, afraid and sometimes so exhausted that I long to let go and sink to the bottom. There are periods when it feels like my elbows are perched on the board, there are even times when only my legs remain in the water and those moments keep me going through the challenges when my nose and mouth are the only things poking occasionally above the surface.
A key aspect in any approach to both depression and rheumatoid arthritis is the support we seek and accept that carries us through the toughest times so we can embrace the best life has to offer.
How to reduce & heal both depression and rheumatoid arthritis
If you think you have depression, I encourage you to go to your doctor or a mental health professional.
I have used several natural ways to reduce and heal both my depression and rheumatoid arthritis; I try to do many of them daily.
Yoga
My yoga practice has improved every facet of my life; simply put, life is better when I spend time on my mat. There are days when all I can do is lie there and cry but the simple act of being on my mat helps.
Yoga is mentioned a lot in this blog, and for good reason; it has profound benefits for both the physical and emotional symptoms of RA. One of the reasons yoga is such a healing practice is that it introduces us to ourselves – we become better acquainted with our bodies and that empowers us to make changes. Yoga can help us heal both depression and rheumatoid arthritis, one pose, one practice at a time. Read more here.
Exercise
Exercise is essential to our wellbeing; our bodies are designed to move and stay strong. The more we use this amazing body, the more it rewards us. When our bodies ache or scream, it is difficult to imagine moving at all but it is worth the effort both physically and emotionally. Many people with RA and other chronic pain illnesses find aqua exercise classes to be both comfortable and enjoyable.
For cardio, you could also try walking, swimming, cycling, anything that gets your heart thumping just a little harder. Strength training is important for bone and joint health; consider working with a personal trainer to prevent injuries.
I walk or hike most days and when I don’t, I feel a dip in energy and well-being. It doesn’t matter what activity you choose as long as it involves 30+ minutes (if possible) of huffing and puffing. For maximum emotional benefits, exercise outdoors and alone (not even music!!)
(Gratitude) Journal
Sometimes when you are in chronic pain it can be challenging to find things to be grateful for; I have often resorted to the low hanging fruit – house, family, clean water. Not that these aren’t things we should be grateful for but I try to look for smaller gifts that show up in my life.
If practical, gift yourself a beautiful journal and make gratitude a nightly ritual. Jot down five things you’re grateful for every evening before bed. If you have trouble sleeping, remember your list and live in that space; this habit serves to lift our hearts as well as make sleep more likely.
I currently begin each day writing morning pages – a practice I learned from Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”. My days go better when I begin them in this quiet nurturing way – give it a go for a month and see how it goes for you.
Meditation
Over the past ten years or so, meditation has become very popular and is talked of in glossy magazines and on TV chat shows. Studies have shown that a meditation practice can change your response to negative thinking.
One of the most powerful benefits of meditation is its ability to reduce stress and anxiety, both of which play an active role in exacerbating depression and rheumatoid arthritis. It may sound miraculous but it is possible to calm the chaos in your head and soothe anxiety and worry in a 10-minute per day practice. There are many styles of meditation, meaning there is definitely the perfect one for you. I have used Insight Timer (a free app) and Glo ( a paid membership) to support my meditation practice.
Supplements
2016: This healing tool is having the most profound effect on my health and I want to yell about it from the mountains. I have been taking nutritional supplements for more than five years that have had a noticeable affect on my depression and (osteo)arthritis but they could not withstand the severity of the past year. Recently, I visited a clinical psychologist and learned about Nutrient Power and Dr William Walsh.
My doctor diagnosed a methylation imbalance and began an intense vitamin/supplement protocol to try to restore balance to my system. Studies suggest that people who have long-term nutritional deficiencies tend to have more mental health issues, including depression, bipolar etc… My doctor’s expected timeline for healing: 4-8 weeks – small changes, 2-3 months – noticeable improvement and 3-6 months – dramatic improvement, achieve full health.
By the time I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I had been on the Walsh protocol for almost a year and felt mostly healed of my depression. When the functional medicine doctor prescribed another rigorous supplement protocol, it felt perfectly reasonable that they could reduce my RA symptoms and I took them willingly. Read Supplements and RA.
Supplements for depression.
- St John’s Wort may change how the brain processes serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine in a similar way to some antidepressants.
- Omega 3s. Studies suggest they reduce inflammation or reduce the effects of the stress-related hormone cortisol.
- Lavender essential oil helps to relax and soothe the body and mind, leading to better sleep and improved mood.
- 5-HTP may change serotonin levels in the brain, much like some antidepressants. It is best used as a short-term solution.
- B vitamins help the brain convert amino acids into mood-boosting brain chemicals such as serotonin. Try folate, B-12 or a B-complex.
- Read study
Conversation
This is new for me. I have started telling people I had/have depression. For years I hid behind euphemisms or lies, ashamed of what I perceived as a personal failing. At some point, I began to understand that depression is no more a reflection of who I am than my epilepsy or arthritis. I have an illness that it impacts my life; that is just how it is.
One of the challenges with both depression and rheumatoid arthritis is their invisibility and many people cannot relate to the depth of pain both cause. It is essential to find support, whether it’s family, friends or a paid professional. I recently discovered Facebook support groups for RA and it has helped enormously to know am not alone.
Reduce or avoid alcohol
Alcohol lowers serotonin levels in the brain, potentially leading to depression and anxiety. Given that alcohol is also considered inflammatory, reducing or avoiding alcohol consumption makes sense if you are facing both depression and rheumatoid arthritis. Read this post for help with changing habits.
Final thoughts
There have been times when depression and rheumatoid arthritis have been vocal companions on my journey but fortunately those flare-ups, both RA and depression are far and few between and less severe than in the past.
I am eternally optimistic and every time I have a good day I think maybe I have clambered atop my board and will never again find myself in the dark water shivering and crying. I hope this is the case each time but I cannot know for sure.
In truth, I am healthier today than I was in 2016 – my diet is radically different (learn more), I make choices based on what is best for my health and I am able to breathe in the grace and good fortune that has arrived wrapped unexpectedly in a package of depression and rheumatoid arthritis.
My hope in writing this article is that you have some of the information you need to make better decisions for your health and future.
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