How self-empowerment & rheumatoid arthritis work

Dia duit agus fáilte – that’s Irish for hello and welcome – to this blog about reducing RA symptoms and other chronic illness symptoms naturally. Today I want to talk about self-empowerment and rheumatoid arthritis – how you can use one to reduce the other.

What is the relationship between self-empowerment and rheumatoid arthritis symptoms; I mean, how could they be connected? Self-empowerment can hardly heal my aching joints and brain fog; or can it?

When I was first diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I was in pain, overwhelmed and worried about my future. I felt powerless and at the mercy of others (like rheumatologists and big-pharma.) I did what many of us do – I visited Dr Google which only added to my stress and confusion and any illusion that I had control over my own life disappeared.

Part of me believed the many sites that suggest we have no control over RA, that diet and lifestyle have no bearing on the symptoms and progression of the disease, that my only option was to be on medication for the rest of my life. My more grounded and intuitive side refused to believe this – if a regimen of supplements healed my depression and yoga cured my debilitating back pain, who was I to doubt my body’s ability to fight this new battle?

Fortunately, I found a functional medicine (naturopathic) doctor who guided me through the fear, showed me a path to heal and left me with the tools to regain control over my own health and future. In other words, she kindled my self-empowerment and left me stronger, healthier and optimistic about my future

If you want to learn more about the relationship between self-empowerment and rheumatoid arthritis symptoms, how to grow the former and reduce the latter, then keep reading.

Please note: I am not a doctor; please consult your physician before making changes to any medical treatments you are using.

What is self-empowerment?

The simplest definition of self-empowerment is: taking charge of one’s own life, based on the belief that one always knows what is best for oneself. In other words – the best person to control and guide you through life is yourself; you are the best person to make decisions about your life, including your health and wellbeing.

When we believe we have power over our own destiny, we make decisions accordingly. If, on the other hand, you question your own ability to control, and make decisions for, your own life and wellbeing, you are more likely to hesitate and allow others to make decisions for you.

Taking control of your health is just one form of self-empowerment and while it is the one we are most concerned about here, in order to strengthen the healing capabilities of self-empowerment for rheumatoid arthritis symptoms, it is impossible to focus so narrowly. The great news is that, as you increase your own sense of self-empowerment and control over your RA symptoms and general health, you will likely experience self-empowerment spilling into other aspects of your life. Bonus!!

Confidence and self-empowerment are both great traits to cultivate but they come from different practices. Confidence is typically earned through experience – I have proven myself skilled and capable of doing a particular activity. Self-empowerment grows with learning to trust that I know what is best for me – I hold authority over my own decisions.

Examples of self-empowerment

In order to understand self-empowerment, it helps to see what it is not. The following examples show how we are trained from a young age to mistrust or ignore our intuition and inner knowing.

• Our mother continues to make scrambled eggs after we express our preference for fried.
• A teacher nudges us towards a career in science because we’re an A-student, even when we are happiest exploring history or music.
• Our discomfort when with a family member is discounted or ignored.

Studies show that self-empowerment is at its lowest during those turbulent teenage and young adult years and it increases over time. By the time you’re my age, most of us have had some practice in self-empowerment, at least in some aspects of life.

How to encourage and practice self-empowerment

In the above examples, self-empowerment would be encouraged by the mother or teacher asking questions, then listening to and accepting the answers. Parents can give their child age appropriate choices to encourage autonomy and self-empowerment and provide a safe space where she/he can express uncomfortable feelings.

The current body-positivity movement has taken great strides in encouraging young people to feel good about their bodies, regardless of shape, size or ability. Rather than society dictating what is “acceptable”, we get to decide what is healthy and feels good for our own body. Hallelujah!

Feeling strong enough to stand up for yourself can be challenging but in order to strengthen your self-empowerment and become the guide of your own RA journey, it is an essential skill to practice. Some ideas:

• Start small – order exactly what you want from the menu next time you go out to eat – “I would like the chicken salad without tomatoes and please add extra mushrooms.”
• Instead of agreeing to watch a show you don’t care for, express your desire to watch your selection.
• Stop saying “sorry” when you’ve done nothing to apologize for.

Mum was quite taken aback when I held my position for the first time (I was 36!) during a heated discussion. It felt scary and my stomach churned but I had finally built up those self-empowerment muscles enough to speak up.

Take a moment to think of some self-empowered moments from your own life. And use them to boost your strength as needed.

This is all well and good, you might be thinking, but how does all this feel-good stuff have any bearing on self-empowerment and rheumatoid arthritis symptoms?

Self-empowerment and rheumatoid arthritis

We go to the doctor because we want/need help and experience to guide us back to health and we often leave our intuition and inner knowing at the door; we surrender all authority to the doctor. But what can they know about us in 10-15 minutes compared to what we know about ourselves?

One of the most difficult places to speak up for yourself is in a doctor’s office; you’re already feeling vulnerable, scared and overwhelmed. There are simple ways to express your inner knowing and desire to control your own healing journey and respect the doctor’s experience.

• Prepare a list of questions ahead of your appointment and do not leave until all those questions have been satisfactorily answered.
• Ask the doctor to fully explain her recommended course of action and do not leave the office until you understand and feel confident in the recommendations.
• If you feel unheard or disregarded, look for another doctor – this is your body, your life and you deserve to be heard and play an active role in your treatment plan.

5 ways to strengthen self-empowerment & reduce RA symptoms

Say No!

Saying no is easier if you have a strong sense of who you are and what values are important to you. If long-distance running is your jam and a good friend asks you to join an early morning mentoring group which interferes with your running schedule? Firm no! Offered a promotion that offers more money but means more travel away from your young children? Firm no! The doctor doesn’t listen before prescribing a medicine you don’t understand? Firm no! (Find another doctor or insist on asking more questions until you are satisfied.)

Have you ever agreed to do something you didn’t want to do? Joined a committee, hosted an event, even tried a new haircut at the salon. If so, read this:

3 ways to say no (and mean it!):

1. Run through a scenario in your head. If your boss is always throwing another project at you, prepare for the next time. Yes, it’s that simple – practice what you will say, how you will stand, your facial expression. Use the mirror or a friend to give feedback.
2. Acknowledge the churning in your stomach or tightness in your throat, take a deep breath and remind yourself why you are saying no.
3. Soften the blow while leaving no room for discussion. Try “I’m sorry; that won’t work for me” rather than “I think I’m busy that weekend.”

Journal

As I was researching this post, I came across this study with the following quote:

If something as simple and enjoyable as journaling is proven to reduce RA symptoms then let’s get started. One way to make journaling more inviting and nurturing is to choose a journal that reflects who you are. I love Etsy – a great way to support small businesses 🙂

4 ways to journal your way to better health:

1. Emotion dump. This is my description for spending 20-30 minutes leaving it all on the page, all your fears and concerns. Simply free-write, without thought for grammar or spelling, everything that is on your mind or heart. Rheumatoid arthritis and other chronic illnesses can be scary companions; expressing all your emotions reduces stress and worry.
2. Creative exploration. Use an unlined book and give yourself artistic freedom to express yourself in any way that suits. Will you paste magazine pictures or words that inspire? Do you choose a word (perhaps a feeling or value) and create a page around it with drawings, photos, poems etc? The joy of this form of journaling is that there is no wrong way to do it.
3. Gratitude journal. When you’re living with chronic disease, it can be difficult to find things to be grateful for but gratitude has been shown to improve wellbeing (See this Harvard article.) I write in my gratitude journal just before bed – it helps me sleep with a generous heart. Jot down 3-4 things you are grateful for that day, write as much or as little as you like. Some days the list might be quite mundane, other days it might be extraordinary.
4. Morning pages. I begin most days with this journaling practice; I love how it establishes my priorities. The practice comes from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way and is very simple. Write three pages of whatever crosses your mind without censorship or correction. I sometimes go back a few days to read what I wrote and am often surprised that what I found challenging last week has resolved “all by itself.” PS, this book is a fabulous way to get to know yourself better. I have gone through the program at least three times over the last decade or so and have enjoyed each experience.

Therapy for self-empowerment and rheumatoid arthritis

Life can be hard. Life with a chronic disease and pain can be even harder and there is no reason to believe we should travel this journey alone. A therapist is trained to work with tools that can serve your particular circumstances and making the time to find and work with a therapist can be life-changing. There are several things to consider when selecting a therapist:

• The convenience factor. This includes driving distance, whether your insurance is directly billed and the ease of making appointments.
• The specialties and training of the therapist – choosing a fantastic family therapist is not the right fit when seeking help for chronic illness.
• Is the therapist a member of a professional association? This is a way to ensure the therapist takes continuing ed classes and stays on top of research and progress in the field of expertise.
• The modalities offered; are you interested in IFS (internal family systems) CBT (cognitive behavior therapy), talk therapy, addiction support?

Two types of therapy you may not be familiar with are horse (equine) therapy and forest therapy. I have been fortunate enough to work with a horse therapist since my diagnosis and it supported and guided me for almost four years to a mental/emotional place of strength and calm.

Forest therapy is less well known and a forest therapist is not an actual therapist. That said, the modality is certainly worth trying at least once to better understand the therapeutic power of nature and how to use it to heal.

Change your language

My sister taught me the power of self-talk. I was berating myself horribly when she stopped me and spoke some powerful words: “Don’t talk about someone I love that way.” What??? Wow!!!

We need to change how we talk about ourselves; how can we hope to grow and heal if we continue to belittle and berate our extraordinary selves? In the beginning, it may be baby steps – rather than declare our RA bodies weak or ugly, look for one beautiful aspect and speak encouraging loving words out loud. Have you heard that phrase – fake it till you make it? Well, it works. Some examples:

• I am learning ways to be healthy and strong rather than I can’t believe my body is falling apart.
• My body is strong enough to cook/walk/cuddle rather than my body can’t do anything anymore
• Today is an extraordinary day to be alive rather than maybe today will be better but who knows

It is easier to change language when you are consciously working on self-empowerment. By growing our awareness of how we speak to ourselves and others, including our doctors, we begin to shift, inch by inch to a stronger, more powerful person.

Don’t settle

You deserve the best possible life. It’s that simple. That doesn’t necessarily mean a life without RA (though we all wish that were the case); it means looking around and finding areas where you accept anything less than the best possible option and then making changes.

• Does your work suck the life from you? Can you find a new job or career field that is more fulfilling?
• Are your friendships supportive of your circumstances? If you have to pretend you are not in chronic pain or cannot share your reality, it might be time to find new relationships.
• Good enough is not the dream life we all deserve. As I write this, we are in the throes of selling our beautiful home on 20 acres because it is “good enough.” We have tried to talk ourselves into staying – we are so fortunate (true); there are so many good things about living here (also true); maybe this will be the right place for us when we’re in our 60s (seriously?) Ultimately though, good enough is not what we want for ourselves and certainly not what we want to teach our kidlets. We want live-out-loud, outrageous, extraordinary and to have that we must release good enough, no matter how uncomfortable the decision and the process.

My favorite story that addresses this matter so succinctly and beautifully is Cheetah by Glennon Doyle (Untamed 2020) Read here.

Final thoughts

Learning to listen to yourself, accepting your own brilliance and trusting your inner knowing is a life-long practice. For me, it has been as much about dismantling habits, beliefs and training as developing new ways of being in the world. A diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis, or any chronic disease, threatens to upend our lives; it shakes us to the core. Self-empowerment is how we shore up the foundation, strengthen our resolve and embrace a life we had not planned for.

There are many practices that nurture body, mind and spirit – check out this post on yoga or this one about the emotional impact of RA.